Christmas Carols ringing out the meaning of Christmas....

'this the season to be jolly, falalalala, lalalala....
Why? To celebrate end of year? Possibly receiving presents from those who love you? Big feast? The Birth of Jesus Christ who was born this day and saved the world, or rather, Thanks to him we mortal beings have a good enough reason to remember our loved ones, cashing in on the opportunity, cos in our busy daily lives we never stop to reward ourselves?

Over the last few years, I've had a few rather different Christmases. In the bleak, mid winter,frosty wind made moan...Christmas orphans being adopted into others family celebrations, where life stops and we feast merrily, listening in on the Queen's speech, exchanging presents, watching time go by...Strolling in nature in the days after, to try to work off the effects of gluttony....quality once-off time spent with some...with only memories to imprint, and not always snapshots to retrieve. My love and Thinking of you all.

A contrast to the years spent in Asia, where buffets happen alongside family gatherings, Santa of all shapes and sizes greet with meaningless toys from bonbons, then it's off to shopping shopping and more shopping...

And this year, it will be a return to the warmth of sunny Australia, the chance to soak it all up outdoors, dodging the heavy Santa outfits...and time with new family members which will be a new experience..

A key element linking all this, are the Christmas music that one has to accompany the festive season. School years have come and gone with concerts and rehearsals of various hymns which brings together what it is all about. 'o little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie..'

In recent years, I have played with friends at their Christmas celebrations and have led some shy individuals to singalong, or kiddies with short attention spans to 'disrupt' the performance when it goes slow...requests along the lines of easy, cheerful 'Jingle Bells..Jingle All the Way!' I enjoyed it when my friend Fiona, who played keyboard and guitar whilst I played the sax, asked everyone why 'We Three Kings' was what it was, and what were the symbolism of the 'gifts that traversed afar' . An amazing lesson on why.

In the shops, there's always hurried songs that gets on my nerves, with an intention to speed us up on our purchases...examples include Mariah's "All I want for Christmas is you.." , or "聖誕老人來了" ( in tune of frosty the snow man) ..ie more of those about Santa, and gifts..at these times I get irritated about occasions when my workmates tell me about the stresses of locating a specific gift for their child, and running across London to secure it. the satisfaction of Santa 'getting it right' for the kids of today, and thus their motivation to earn decent wages to support that? Hmm...could be easier if Santa is only a myth and not one that kids can use to advance their uncontrollable stash of toys from everyone who has the expectation to keep up? And also, the limited luggage space for the long haul traveller to bring something for everyone...and probably feeling that it wouldn't be all that well-received on the other end...the perpetuality of not repeating gifts, or getting something that will bring a smile, in time, appreciated. Reinforcing the idea next year...good for retail but not everyone's best news ( esp on arrival of Jan's card statement!)

Or the Ever growing PC collection of cards for Xmas, for not just the typical parents, but mum and boyfriend, brother and boyfriend, dad and step mother, sister and fiancée, the list goes on..And which Charities cards to buy and why and how much? It is big business in itself.

Well, of course the company Xmas parties, a diversion for organisers and those who attend as a yardstick of whether this working year is better than the others, and the opportunity for corporates to thank spouses (or gate-crashing friends) of employees how they have patiently tolerated the peaks and troughs of their employees work this year...

It's only recently I've really paid attention to some of the lyrics in the non hymnal songs and have started to understand what it's all about, and liking them even more. Examples include:
I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus - why was daddy missing? I used to think broken families, but maybe Santa = daddy?
Winter wonderland - a beautiful song with a story throughout.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas - people on their own? Music with a sad tone (heard numerous times in my travels this weekend in Singapore!) about the joys of it all..

and for further reading, A recent article in the guardian about what is the best.


I sometimes can't wait for the calendar to flip over to the new year, when we can put 'The Christmas Industry' out of the way and begin afresh. In this regard I have a higher respect for Thanksgiving as a holiday and wished that my part of the world use it more than attach it to Christmas ( or Kissmas, I cringe when I hear that...it's not what it's all about!!!)

Almost time to head south, with our plastic sleigh of goodies, and jet lag still trailing along....Joy to the World! But one can't always make heaven and nature sing...!

- linking photo of mariah and Justin courtesy of Amanda talars blogpost which echoes mine....agh

A mentor, trusted advisor

As the year is slowly coming to an end, it's time for a review of all the meetings we have had, over coffee, breakfasts, over the phone, across the miles via skype,

and finally, one on couches overlooking the Thames.

We kept time by staring across the river to a clock of an organisation that we both have a passion for, past and future, in a venue that I do spend a lot of time in when I get the time, and did explore spending even more time there, but life didn't turn out that way.

It's been an interesting journey. A relationship I sought out to establish, via a network that opened new doors to meeting aspiring women. A first choice that didn't turn out, but a shared passion and stepping out to express my intentions made it happen.

A year of asking questions, and would I say, my actions mirrored hers? Coming out of my shell, asking for feedback, reaching out, yes, the pendulum has started to swing. It's good to know that there is someone who you can share and can prompt you to do more, even when you don't believe that you can.

The tools to make decisions, empowerment to own them, responsibility to take on the next challenge. Will we ever know whether the next step is the right step? But if we never try will we ever find out? How do we manage those that hold you back, or those that say go, for their various reasons?

It is you that knows best. Know Thyself. Take Action.

****

Bamboos, Temperate House, Kew Gardens

Just finished reading Aleph, by Paulo Coelho. Picked up this book from the library hoping to be inspired on new journeys. One of the most interesting things that I have picked up from the book was the author's skim-read of an article about the Chinese Bamboo. "once the seed has been sown, you see nothing for five years apart from a tiny shoot. All the growth takes place underground, where a complex root system reaching upwards and outwards is being established. Then at the end of the fifth year, the bamboo suddenly shoots up to a height of 25 metres.." Inspirational, thinking of the bamboo plants we once had in our backyard in Sydney when we were young. It didn't take them 5 years to spread like crazy. More about my late autumn visit to Kew Gardens to come..

Tea, Cake and Science of Hearing

Finally, a link between my marathon fundraising, the research it propels and understanding the hidden deficiencies of hearing loss!



I spent Thanksgiving evening at the UCL Ear Institute on an informative session organised by Deafness Research UK, about hearing deficiencies and their fundraising in securing radical improvements in the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of deafness and other hearing impairments over Tea, Cake and other refreshments.

Followers of this blog so far will know that I raised funds for Deafness Research UK whilst training for the Virgin London Marathon earlier this year, and have since returned to volunteer on a weekly basis in the last month.

My interest in the charity stemmed from being a sufferer of sensorineural hearing loss, a deficiency I largely denied throughout my childhood and only brought to my attention again more than 5 years ago during my PADI Open water diver medicals, which involved a hearing assessment.

I cannot hear high frequencies as well as the average person, and do struggle hearing in noisy environments. Although I don't live with a hearing aid, there has been times I have been told it is a worthwhile investment. I didn't understand the ways of the deaf, and never thought about it much until I saw a few ladies on the train into london, speaking in hushed tones, louder laughes and big gestures - it wasn't charades they were playing!

I nodded many times during this evening when presenters (such as the Chief Executive, Individual Giving Assistant) brought up common issues such as pretending to understand something when they didn't, a preference for restaurants and bars with carpet, requests to turn up the volume of the tv, processing a sound by lip reading rather than hearing it, and when in fact, every hearing disorder is different.

We got a taster of the Bionic Ear Show - which is a fun and interactive initiative roadshow the charity conducts in schools and workplaces free of charge to bring awareness to this delicate instruments of ours that sticks out on both sides of our heads. Sound clips of what people can hear with NHS sponsored hearing aids at different levels, really made me realise how lucky I am to have the hearing levels that I have got. Some people who have lost enough 'hairs' inside their cochlea - to them, they can't even make out the sound of trumpets. It will all sound like hushed drums!

The evening concluded with a final presentation by UCL scientist Sally Dawson of how the funds from the charity has allowed her team to get started on research examining the genetic effects of adult onset hearing loss. The link for me was that funding was often non-existent for specialised areas such as hearing, and in order to get research to a level where it would be supported by larger medical funding bodies such as Wellcome Trust, this is where funds for Deafness Research UK comes in. (and indeed, having visited the grand premises of Wellcome Trust, vs DRUK's offices, I am aware of the scale)

Over refreshments, I got to speak to more of the charity's staff and also seeing supporters purchase some of the Christmas cards to help raise more funds - this is something that I helped with over the last month - click link here for the online shop.

It is good seeing the results of hard work - and I wish the Best for Deafness Research UK and hope it can bring greater awareness to all about the importance of hearing as it has to me.

I now appreciate the ability to enjoy music as much as I can - and under circumstances, bringing my earplugs along to lower the possible damage it can cost. Because, once it's gone, it's not going to be ever as perfect as natural hearing.

The drums in a Jazz set - Duc des Lombards, Paris

Tax, Coffee, and all that Jazz...

Much of my past fortnight has been spent in attending CA CPE sessions,  jumping out of my comfort zone into the 'essentials' of accounting knowledge such as Topical Tax tips,coffee and meetings with people about future opportunities, attending assessment centres on all sorts of psychometric tests and presentations, exploring how various organisations work and playing a part to its potential success...

In short, a bit too busy to blog although there's much to give in bite size servings if I had stopped! My brain has been stretched to the limit and so has my body too...coming down with a cold! :(

In spite of all this, I did manage to catch a few performances at the London Jazz Festival this year and dragging a few friends along. Particularly enjoyed the Barbican Freestage on Sat 12th November with Samuel Jon Samuelsson's Big Band, which was followed by the amazing McCoy Tyner Trio - with tenor saxophonist Chris Potter.. and vocalist Jose James...a concert at the Barbican that lasted til 10:30 pm!

My last taste of the Festival was a Sunday afternoon at 606 club near Imperial Wharf , a once-neglected part to the west of Kings Road in Chelsea. Pressed the buzzer and I was led to the basement and over a rather hearty lamb rump and starters to accompany a quintet featuring Barnaby Dickinson (trombone), Mark Fletcher (drums), Graham Harvey(piano), Nigel Hitchcock (alto sax) and Lawrence (bass) - my friend and I explored what it's all about.

Maybe they've never played together, some of the music freshly off the printer in the morning,however, it was most enjoyable, the drums set the scene, and off they went , following a form, and then improvising , and coming back together again towards the end. a most entertaining sunday afternoon!

So how do they get there?

I'd like to quote from LJF's festival's venue newspaper from an article by Edward Randell:

" How do you move beyond learning scales to being able to express yourself emotionally through music? [says Parlato:] "Sometimes its a matter of stepping away from the music for a second and doing a little soul-searching and kind of figuring out who you are and what you want, what your triggers are, how you communicate and how you react."


"Music, is a conversation which is give and take, it's listening to sound and space".


[Adam Wilson agrees:] " To make that conversation occur, one of the first things you've got to do is have confidence. You can't be scared to speak to somebody, you have to be able to say your name, and say who you are and explain what you want to do and what you're all about. And you have to be able to say this in music....


So I tell kids not to have any fears. I even ask them, ' say your name to me- no, I can't hear you. Say it again, much stronger, support it.' And that's the kind of thing that you have to do when you're playing music."

and stronger, I say, not necessarily just louder.  I think about the Topical Tax tips lecture, the Musician who was disallowed his losses by being a teacher after being a performer with a reasonable income in the previous year as well as all those tax evasion cases knocked back due to businesses operating without an intention to profit? Why? In the artistic world, is it easy to be commercial and also communicate well? Definitely! But there are so many fish in the pond...one just needs to work harder.

A thought propped up by a plunger of coffee - one that awakens for the journey ahead in the darker and colder days that is to come.

Autumn Racing and medal bling tally for 2011

A Passion to Perform, in work and in my personal life, my medal tally for 2011, half of them, were Personal Bests , over 3 distances:
Half Marathon (Race your pace Dorney Lake), Marathon (Virgin London Marathon) and 10k (Capital Runners Bushy Park)

Been home for almost a month now, and I still recall AMSTERDAM Half -MARATHON weekend (14th - 16th October) being a rather lethargic one. Fresh off the plane from Houston on the morning of 14th October, we had only a few hours to be reacquainted with our home, and the cold weather, and then off again to Amsterdam.
A city visited many times, we were not too keen on the sightseeing. Friday night, a walk in the wrong direction in the cold, but keen to find some Indonesian food (but not keen enough to over-do and upset our stomachs) we feasted on Rijsttafel, and got basic provisions, and slept like babies in our spacious room. Saturday was spent bib-collecting, having a big indonesian lunch, playing 'hide-and-seek' with our other friends in town and trying to settle in early for the big day. I still remember the lady from the Chinese restaurant saying 'we support you'! But we couldn't sleep well at all that night...jet lag was affecting us more than probably our european counterparts (many travelling running teams from Italy, UK joining this race and staying in our hotel).

Sunday morning was windy with blue skies. Perfect weather but unprepared were we, no garbage bags, minimal warm clothing for the start. However, the start was spectacular. In the Olympic stadium, well rugged up, I waved to Seng and Cath as they set off on their 42.195kms..

then caught up with our other spectators, Leon and Serena. We didn't venture too far hoping to catch them quickly, saw Seng, and then waited for too long and no sign of Cath. Checked the iphone App (Roaming)...she's sped off way ahead! A cold day, poor transport links to other spectator points, I gave up on my spectating 'grand plan', took the train back to the hotel, relaxed and got going again for the 13:30pm Half Marathon start.

Serena and I met, got to the start line - we separated , leaning across to the other side, hoping to see our marathon friends come in...but no such luck. Off I went as the gun goes...slowish to start...at least it warmed up. The course itself was not the most exciting, but the crowds made up for it. and where were the pacers? I just knew that I couldnt stop, except for water, AA drink (after activity drink), sponge, and to take a gel. No walking though, but I couldn't pick up my legs and bolt. The best part of the run was the last 3kms through Vondelpark (all downhill? and not disillusioned like Hyde Park , or Bois du Bologne), and with the last kilometre...I saw people bolting, the 2 guys with 2:00 balloons also rushing ahead of me, but I cannot find my central governor (he has gone misisng). I just maintained my pace, said hello to Cath (all dressed now) and Leon, and race into the Stadium!
So glad it was over..2:05:31. Consolation for being the fastest time in an autumn half marathon, which has been for the last few years slower than the winter ones, when I was building up for a full. Oh well.

A few weeks later, and how else to celebrate the milestone, my birthday by entering the Capital Runners BUSHY PARK 10k  (the original intention was to enter another runbritain half marathon to improve my handicap and earn an extra badge on the site, but proximity precedes irrationalism - I'm glad!). Another cold morning, a reminder of the february windy long run where I took the bus to Hampton and ran home (3 hours +).
A paid race and hence, less daunting than the Bushy Park 5k Parkrun saturday (apparently 200 people + at the start), the set-up did feel like parkrun, well it was in a Park! A long wait...giving up my bag at the last minute, to start off at 10am along the paved path. I had a few 'friends' along with me all the way - a Mr Run-Walk, who walked even at 1km, but always seem to catch up, a Miss Pink, who would lift her legs high and run and catch up..and also the lone deer with lovely horns, spectating within close quarters, with other herds of deers spectating far away.
The trickiest part of the race was running through fallen leaves on soft ground. My focus was not to twist anything! Like the summer morning training, I tried hard not to get a stitch. 2 laps of the same, with marshals smiling at me as I approach the lake...the last few kilometres, and the final kilometre...faster than I thought, and did we cut corners? I wouldn't have thought but not too sure...the clock says 54:55. A PB, and knowing that I could do it, when my 10k split at amsterdam was around 55 mins and way too fast for the first half.

It wasn't a easy run, but I'm glad to hang up paid racing for the year (next goal, Parkrun) - and to celebrate with a lovely foodie lunch cooked by Petra
- worth the effort to walk across Bushy Park, my spring training ground, my summer biking playground and the first I've seen it in autumnal glory, with falling leaves. 


"Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all, my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall"

On birthday's eve

As I stand and watch the fireworks in front of my eyes,
with a heavily pregnant friend of mine
In the crowds, bonfires and smoke surrounding
I realised what it's all about.

Thirty something years ago
My own mother was in the hospital ward
Pushing, waiting for the moment her first born comes into the world.

The start of a lifetime of opportunities and fun experiences,
The dawn of new hope
Worrying if she would cope

Yes, celebrations, year upon year upon year.
Big, small, cakes, candles, the crowd comes and goes.
Some stay, and always will.
Not the ones because of what you have/don't have,
Not the ones because of where you live and whether they have better places to be seen at.
But the ones who brought you here, those truly grateful that you came into their world. Those precious few.

It's not about the presents -
Be it to brag a bag from Tiffany's or a star from Michelin
It's about presence - advancing another year with learnings from experiences past.
A new year for yourself, to advance and learn.
Of nuturing treasured relationships, less of those that slash and burn.

Deterioration being the inevitable criterion
Do we hasten its pace, or stop the race?
To enjoy at one's own pace
In real, nature or in virtual space.

Happy Birthday,
We age and reflect in time this time every year, but it's really just another day. ;)







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Seek, and you shall find...

...something least expected. A modelling opportunity!

I found myself in the premises of an Old School campus in Clerkenwell, on a Thursday afternoon, for a 15 minute interview.
A volunteer opportunity for this year's London Jazz Festival at the Producers.

15 minute is short to tell 2 people a story about why you want a job for free, how to ace an interview with very little relevant experience (in hindsight, I could've listed lots more) , so I injected them with passion. My little mind ticking everytime I am in a theatre, what kind of shows will get bums on seats, whether modernisation of classical sets were the way to go, how much to pay artists, attract talent, marketing. The bottom line of my thoughts, I told them, is because I was trained as an accountant. I also said I played the saxophone, and that got their attention, and had their colleague to come in and let me in on their latest project...

Fast forward to Wednesday afternoon - 26th October, I found myself in the Portico rooms of Somerset House. In Concert Musician Black. With a room of other saxophonists. There were chatter, everyone was unloading boxes.

Real cool. We filled in the forms, got paid, and filed into the room which looked like a setting for a press conference - with London 2012 logo and many of the sponsors too. We were to pose, but not play. How to stop horn players from tooting away? Some chose to not insert a reed. Some had their mouthpiece covers on. I came prepared with earplugs from Deafness Research charity that I had been volunteering that morning, thinking there will be musicians letting loose. But it didn't happen.

in the drizzle, we went down into the courtyard - and were asked to form into a shape of the union jack. 'The Asian lady, stand here'...the photographer hollered from the balcony..yes, who else but me. I got into position, looked up, no one asked to smile. Tried to look natural. Same as everyone else.

There were a few other poses. inside, on the stairs. Photographers wanted to know how many girls were there - we were certainly in the minority and had to be mixed around to provide variety to the mix. Diversity as a theme of the Olympics I reckon.

the stairwell , im 3rd up on the left on the stairs. some saxophonists refused to dangle their horns over the railings - these were precious instruments.

We finished off with a final shot outside looking like we were playing behind water - being the River of Music theme.

We then were dismissed - back in the room, undid our mouthpieces, commented on the niceness of each other's horns, how they got into this photoshoot, and what they are going to do with the money. An assembly of players on a weekday afternoon, and who would be free to do this? Only when opportunity presents itself unexpectly.


A day later, some of these pictures were to appear in the press release and further photos. Spot me - pretty obvious I would think! :)

Andy Shepherd (front left) is going to hold an event with 200 saxophonists closer to the Olympics and we would be notified in due course...it would be interesting as it was absolute torture for almost 30 players to gather that day and not make music. It would've been a good jam session.

I didn't get the volunteer role at the London Jazz Festival this year. Which means I will now make my impact as the audience again, analytical mind ticking, wondering how many bums on seats and which ones would've emptied out halfway before the show is done. Perhaps this will free me up for better things that are coming this way?